Valentine’s Day is a capitalist’s paradise

Valentine’s Day is the greatest thing to ever happen to America.

The stuffed, life-size pandas that you have no chance of fitting through your front door, the immaculate, look-alike ice sculptures that keep their shape for an entire eight minutes before melting and the overpriced 54 course meals are just a few of the aspects that make the holiday so spectacular.  

Even when you are alone and have no one to share it with, Valentine’s Day can still be a wonderful experience. Seeing couples showcase their love on social media and being constantly surrounded with other people’s love does wonders to make you feel cared about.  

I imagine it’s the same feeling the Rams players and fans had in the Super Bowl this year when they lost. The entire Rams nation was ecstatic to witness the true greatness of the Patriots. Experiencing Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick win together reminded the Rams that watching the other team win is just as satisfying as winning themselves.

In the same way, lonely people on Valentine’s Day are able to magically absorb the love other people have and become overwhelmed with joy.

The worst part is the extreme amounts of money spent on gifts such as flowers, chocolates and stuffed animals. Neubauer’s Flowers, like all flower companies, says that flowers are the best way to show someone just how much you love them. But you shouldn’t take relationship advice from a flower company.

Clearly, the more money you spend on flowers for your significant other on Valentine’s Day, the more likely they are to want to spend the rest of their life with you in a love shack in the Bahamas.

Another bright side of the holiday is, according to Ovuline, a company that studies fertility, the rate of conception is four times higher than average on Valentine’s Day. This is fantastic because the more people that are brought into this world, the better, according to the AlterNet.

With that said, the unfortunate reality is that the holiday has become immensely consumerized to allow companies to increase prices by up to 50 percent to make a significant profit. This is a result of the obligation that couples have to buy pointless gifts for each other that have little to no sentimental meaning.

This year alone, the average American will spend an astonishing $134 on gifts, according to an article on The Richest for their significant other. Valentine’s Day just means loneliness, sadness and jealousy for single people who are forced to observe other people’s happiness.

If you judge your significant other based off of how many Build-A-Bears they buy, you need to question not only the holiday itself, but also what you value in the relationship itself. Is buying a $990 platinum dipped rose bouquet really the best way to say “I love you?”

This year, instead of focusing on the expensive Valentine’s Day merchandise and rubbing it in other people’s faces, break the mold. Get off your phone, enjoy each other’s company, and create meaningful experiences that will not melt after eight minutes.

A perfect example could be the fortune from a fortune cookie that you kept that made you realize you were in love, reading: “You may like someone at some point.” Or you could even gift the half-eaten hot dog that you saved from two years ago, which was the first meal you ever shared together.

Corporations are banking on you to give them your money; be original instead of contributing to the complete stupidity of Valentine’s Day.

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