Opinions, OUTober, Special Projects

OUTober: Students spill the tea on their LGBTQ dating experiences

Leilani Lopez

Fourth-year sociology major

I tried dating guys, and I never had those feelings with crushes or with another person. I didn’t realize that it was because I liked girls at the time, but once I got my first crush on this girl, it was a whole new thing. I felt the butterflies, I felt the nervousness, I finally understood what everybody was talking about. 

So, there [was] this girl in Spanish class. And, you know, we talk[ed] in class, and we actually got really close really fast. I started to really like her. I [was] newly out, so my gaydar—non existent. I just didn’t know how to tell if someone was also into girls, so I tried to make my move on [the] last time we really hung out. 

We kissed, but it stopped almost immediately. She was like, “I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend.” So I [was] super embarrassed, and I apologized. She was like, “Well, you never made a move like that. I thought we were just friends,” but she kind of had this idea, too, that we were going out on dates. We were both on that page, but I think she didn’t know either. I was waiting to see if she would make a move. I was too scared to, so she moved on. She ended up seeing someone else. They had just gotten together like a week before. But I kissed her, and that’s how I found out she was a lesbian as well. I just remember it being super awful. 

Even now, I still have trouble knowing if someone is or not. It’s just a very difficult thing. I think in the LGBTQ community, it’s a lot nicer and more fun. I think we’re always having a great time out here. It was a super embarrassing time, but you live and you learn. I’m just happy to be really enjoying myself now.

Lindsey Bouchard

Fourth-year creative writing major

I decided to do a little write up on my experience being unicorn hunted, where a straight couple targets a queer person, usually a bi or pan woman, to join their relationship. Dating as a pansexual, panromantic, non-binary badass is all fun and games until you’re 18 and unicorn hunted at Disneyland. 

True, maybe I shouldn’t have trusted being suddenly invited to my new coworker’s birthday Disneyland trip, or at least I should have been suspicious of the fact that I was the only person invited besides her husband. 

True, I should have probably asked more questions about her husband’s job and why it made him good at tying knots and hiding secrets. 

True, I should have asked why the happily married couple wanted me to sit between them on The Haunted Mansion ride, but, trust me, no matter how suspicious you are, you’ll never be ready to end a day at Disneyland with the words “I’m a master, and my wife scouted you to be our new pet.”

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