For as long as I can remember, New Year’s resolutions have been an ongoing cycle of creating goals and forgetting them. This year, however, I am choosing to not lose sight of these goals, partly because last year proved to be so difficult and overwhelming.
What I had planned for 2020 was something far different than what I received. Throughout my childhood, I looked at college as a new and life-changing experience, one where I would be able to travel, write, meet people and build lifelong connections. But this proved to be quite difficult considering our current circumstances.
My first year of college was cut short. I was not only living on my own, but I was unable to visit those I loved most for fear of spreading a disease that could potentially hurt them. The coronavirus pandemic made me give up a little bit on myself, school and the things I thought once mattered the most.
Nothing seemed important to me, at least not anymore. I lost hope in ever going on a transformative adventure, or of ever writing for a publication because it all seemed so minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
All of this took a toll on my mental health. I felt like there was no reason of being. I began to hate myself for letting a year go by without achieving anything.
I then realized that I got by, that that was an achievement within itself and it occurred to me that maybe I was too hard on myself. It was the pessimist inside of me that took control, and for a year, had full power over me.
I vowed that this year would be different—I would not set huge expectations for myself. Instead of being angry, I will take action. I will appreciate the smaller things and easier on myself, all the while enjoying simply being alive.
So, what do my new year goals consist of? In 2021, I will be healthier. This means focusing on both my mental and physical health. I will begin the year as a pescatarian, cutting out meat completely out of my life.
Each day I will write and journal, read and create. I will pick up skating and do the one thing I am most afraid of: fall.
Most importantly, I will begin to fully pursue my journalistic career. This is something I am already in the process of doing. Despite never having my work published, I took a risk and signed up for Journalism 310, a class that reports for Long Beach State’s student-run newspaper, the Daily Forty-Niner.
I applied for two internships that I am currently working on, one in public relations with DIG MAG, and the other in marketing and sales with Greek House, an apparel company.
My goal is to gain experience in the field. I hope that by the end of this year I have a clear image of what I want to do for the rest of my life.
My biggest fear at the moment is that I am new, I am inexperienced and I am scared. At the same time, I am eager to learn and to grow with the help and guidance of those with more knowledge.
I am doing this to find a light within myself that I, for so long, believed was lost. I have family and friends to hold me accountable, but the biggest thing now is that I am not alone. I have people depending on me to produce stories and to fulfill tasks, and this will all push me to be better every day.
“When making New Year’s resolutions, consider what changes you’d like to make, but also why you want to make them” stated Dr. Dolan in Christina Caron’s New York Times article.
The thing that sets this year’s resolutions apart from those made in my past is that I have a deeper drive to accomplish what I once believed was impossible and am backing those dreams with action.