Kylee Delgadillo will be writing a weekly column about sex issues that are relevant to our university communities. We encourage and welcome your feedback.
Dorm rooms and sex have never been a complementary pair. Having roommates and housemates within listening distance, we need to respect one another’s space — but the rules are not usually clear. An article in the Philadelphia Inquirer focused on the “room rules” of students who live in college-provided residences and those who share rooms off campus.
Some colleges have taken the initiative to provide students with guidelines for sexual conduct in their living areas. Tufts University, near Boston, enforces a “no sex” rule while a roommate is in or near the room because of the overwhelming number of complaints in the past.
Some students interviewed felt the rule was a decent idea, but it is not fair for those who respect their living partners without compromising their sex life. Luckily, Cal State Long Beach has not had to jump to that extreme.
There is a certain level of courtesy between roommates, which not only applies to tidying up after themselves and sharing room responsibilities, but also to getting physical. On a typical weekend night, some students like to enjoy a release but have no real personal space to do so, leaving the question of a course of action.
“I think there should be a general understanding that we are college students and sex happens, but communication is a must,” said Katherine Parker, an international studies and psychology major at The Beach.
If there’s a discussion between roommates, in which both agree on rules about “physical time,” then there should be no real problem. It is not necessary for colleges to enforce rules on sex in residential housing, but the guidelines should be clear between the two students who live together.
One student interviewed handles his sex issue by texting his roommate to let him know his intentions and to ask for a little privacy. The problem can be remedied with minimal effort; it just has to be addressed.
Not all roommates are all right with the idea of having sex in the mutual room and not everyone is going to “fist pound” you after your accomplishment. It is known that your room is your personal area, but is it too much to ask to be able to have some time without the other person present to handle business?
Some students deem sex unacceptable in all situations, whether or not they are present. Two of the women interviewed who “don’t have sex” provided input, but claimed to have never had that issue.
I can’t help but wonder what would happen if they lived in a suite or hall set-up like we have at CSULB. It seems almost impossible to be able to please the wishes of the students who live so close to one another, however, it is not fair to strip someone of their sexuality when the remedy is simply to leave the room for a pre-agreed upon amount of time.
Samantha Seaman, a CSULB junior communications major, said, “I appreciate decency, and when people are making loud moaning noises it’s not OK. If you think your roommate is asleep, you’re kidding yourself; don’t do them dirty.”
Out of courtesy for the person you dwell with, whether in a dorm room or a house, talk about what is kosher for sex. In the meantime, if you and your roommate have already discussed guidelines and a free moment is at hand, a good mood setter is Sebastien Tellier’s “Sexuality.”
Until next week, enjoy the good times, friends.
More from Kylee Delgadillo
Kylee Delgadillo is a junior journalism major and a contributing writer for the Daily 49er.