If you don’t want to be seen with puffy eyes, then wear sunglasses. If you’re hungover from last night’s party, don’t even bother showing up to class. If you don’t want to be heard, refrain from speaking (loudly).
Otherwise, I’ll be speedwalking by and mentally jotting down your conversations that sound even more ridiculous when taken out of context.
So let this be a Cal State Long Beach learning lesson apart from a classroom lecture: Thou shall keep your indoor voice even whilst outdoor.
In the meantime, here are a few bits and pieces of various conversations brought to you by your fellow classmates:
“[The baby is] in there.”
“Oh my god, it’s okay. Go to the bathroom.”
“Technically, I’ve never been to jail.”
“I did William Shatner’s grandchild’s party. And like [former Los Angeles Laker]’s agent’s party or something.”
“Do you know what Rolling Stone [Magazine] is?”
“Hey Michael, want some free stuff?!”
“I had a friend who had a friend who said she was sleeping peacefully in the morning, and then all of a sudden at 2 a.m., someone knocks at her door and drags her by the ankles…”
“I need a vacation. I’m tired.” -“You just went to Italy!”