Chances are, you have made some kind of mistake that seemed to stick with you for an extended period.
You’ve told yourself the typical human reaction to mistakes, “I just need to learn from this. This is a time for growth.”
However, that’s easier said than done, since you may still find yourself dwelling on some mistakes for some time after.
The question therein lies: How can we learn from our mistakes without dwelling in the past?
According to Benedict Carey, a columnist for the New York Times, a 2007, but relevant psychological study has shown that people who live in the past and dwell on past mistakes tend to be less happier individuals.
The results of the studies support the Freudian idea. We must live in the moment and seek out the positive in every situation, rather than linger on the negative connotations of our mistakes.
York University psychology professor Gordon L. Flett said, “It is natural for people to want to be perfect in a few things, say in their job, being a good editor or surgeon depends on not making mistakes.”
“It is when it generalizes to other areas of life, home life, appearance, hobbies, that you begin to see real problems,” said Flett.
Think about a time where you tried to kick a negative habit. Did you succeed immediately without any difficulty?
If you are even remotely human, you probably answered no.
Did you linger or your failure or embrace the opportunity to get back on your horse?
Perfectionists are those that seek, well, perfection (what else?). Our minds have the tendency to make matters worse than they really are.
I am a perfectionist! What should I do?
A study of German employees recently showed that there is an element of time associated with the decrease in negative emotions as well as increased clarity.
The study went on to show that if you let your mind rest before tackling the improvement upon your negative experience, then you are much more likely to improve upon your previous condition.
As important as it may seem to tackle your problems head on, scientifically, it may not be the best way to handle your condition.
The heart of the matter is that as human beings, we are inherently imperfect.
Therefore, dwelling on our mistakes is nothing but destructive for us. Be honest with yourself, and understand how far to push yourself.
Also, realize that you will make mistakes, and be willing to accept those mistakes as an opportunity for growth. If you cannot tolerate your worst, at least occasionally, how true to yourself can you be?
This is not to say that we should not take action, or commit to a passive lifestyle. We should take action, and we should learn from our mistakes, but the key lies in the aspect of time. You cannot rush progress. It is not your problems that define you, but how you react to them.
Problems will not go away, unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can and acknowledge what you have done. It is all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count as they add up to yards and miles in the end. Patience truly is a virtue.