Editor’s Note: This article is a reprint of “Sorority members go to extremes to fit in with group.” It has been rewritten and updated with additional interviews from members of sororities on campus and others familiar with the topic.
The original article painted an unfair picture of our Greek organizations on campus. In response, the Daily 49er pulled the original copy from its website and met with members of the TriDelta sorority.
After the meeting, it was decided that the best solution would be a reprint of this kind. We apologize for any frustration the original article caused and understand the responsibility this paper holds as our campus news source.
Wanting more out of her college experience than attending class and getting a degree, Cal State Long Beach student Gladys Nieves-Zavala joined a sorority to gain a sense of identity.
Growing up Nieves Zavala had a hard time fitting in. She said her reserved personality often caused people to isolate and misunderstand her.
But by the time she was in high school she had made some close friends — friends that she had managed to stay in contact with even after she started taking classes at CSULB.
College, however, was a brand new environment and it was a place where Nieves-Zalava found it difficult to belong.
“I never really belonged to a group,” the former Tri Delta new member said. “I was just trying to go where I belonged.”
Ashley Cassidy, a current member of Delta Gamma, said she initially joined a sorority because CSULB is such a big campus and she wanted to have a sense of community and belonging.
She said Delta Gamma has been a great experience for her.
“I’ve learned so many things about myself and people,” Cassidy said. “It’s given me opportunities outside of school, in the professional world and it’s allowed me to meet people that I never could have imagined.”
CSULB assistant professor of psychology Dustin Thoman said this desire of wanting to belong can often be the reason why students join fraternities and sororities.
People want to stand out so they gladly become a part of smaller groups according to Thoman.
“People do this with fashion all the time,” Thoman said. ” ‘I’m kind of preppy,’ ‘I dress business-like,’ ‘I’m a beach person,’ ‘I skateboard on campus,’ those are all different ways of showing people your identity [in a way they] can see.”
Not only did Nieves-Zavala want to belong to a group, but she also thought that by joining a sorority she could have a unique self-image.
Looking back, Nieves-Zavala said her struggle to meet the demands of her sorority went against her family values at times. These demands, she said, included staying out until early hours of the morning.
But for the sake of belonging and enjoying the benefits of her sorority Nieves-Zavala said she was willing to overlook those things.
Other sorority members have also made personal sacrifices to gain the sense of belonging social organizations provide.
Former member of Tri Delta and high school athlete April Boos came to college looking for a place to belong, like she had done in high school as a track and field star. But as a newcomer to CSULB she felt like she had to start all over.
She tried turning to sports but with her 20-hour work schedule Boos couldn’t keep the time commitment that athletics usually require, in addition to not having the financial support to pay for participating in sports.
In the end, Boos said she opted for a sorority to help her gain a sense of belonging.
Even though Boos enjoyed many aspects of her sorority, Boos experienced difficulty in paying her sorority dues, and as a result, she took drastic measures to avoid having to withdraw from her new social home in Tri Delta.
“I would steal clothes I needed to wear to an event,” Boos said. “I even donated my eggs.”
Boos donated her reproductive eggs three times, each time receiving at least $5,000 that she used to help pay for sorority expenses and other costs while being a full-time student.
According to Greek advisor Caitlyn Roberts, most sororities would discourage their members for going to extremes measures.
“I think all of our sororities work very diligently to work with their members on payment plans, or if there is scholarships available making them aware of them,” Roberts said.
“Certainly this isn’t the intention that this is going to bankrupt anyone, sororities are there to contribute and add value to everyone’s personal life,” she continued.
For members struggling to make the cut financially or feeling pressured in any other way, Sigma Kappa president Lauren Weiss said sororities typically try to provide a welcoming and non-judgmental environment for their members to communicate their personal difficulties.
“We always tell people … to communicate.” Weiss said. “If you’re not able to, if there is one person you feel comfortable talking to, as long as there is at least one officer that you feel comfortable talking to about anything, I recommend going to them.”
And although no one forced Nieves-Zavala or Boos to make such painful choices, according to Thoman, the nature of the Greek system can command that type of faithfulness psychologically due to its high degrees of commitment.
“So something like, if I said, you know, to be a member of this group you need to fill out this application, you fill out the application you’re now a member of the group no big deal.” Thoman said. “But to be a member of this group you have to all these crazy activities for 6 weeks, you have really separate other parts of your life to work really hard, and now you’re in the group, you’re going to value that group much more than if you just submitted an application.”
According to the CSULB 2011 Panhellenic Recruitment notebook sorority dues alone can range anywhere from $663 to $1621.76 depending on the sorority.
Even though CSULB has four councils that oversee the Greek system, the Panhellenic Council has receive
d criticism from some students for not appearing as welcoming as other Greek councils.
Sophomore co-ed fraternity member, Maria Calvillo was looking to get involved in the Greek system but felt socially excluded from many of the Panhellenic sororities during Greek Week on campus.
“I felt out of place just because it’s out of my comfort zone,” Calvillo said. “Wherever I felt it was home for me that’s what I went for.”
Alpha Omicron Pi member Kaitlyn Gricar had a similar experience when she went to Greek recruitment week.
“Going through recruitment, I tried to keep an open mind and get to know some of the girls,” Gricar said. “There was a reason I didn’t want to go to a couple of houses. You get, not necessarily the most friendliest vibe from some people.”
But even though this “vibe” is felt by some and seen as offensive, Thoman said he doesn’t believe this social disconnect is created consciously.
Naturally, people gravitate to others who share the same interests and characteristics as they do, according to Thoman.
This type of social decision-making is something that people do subconsciously all the time, but it is only magnified in sororities and fraternities because of their formal structure, Thoman explained.
For Nieves-Zalava, the decision to be in a sorority or any group depends on what you want to be known as in college.
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