Do you know those people who just won’t go away? They’re like gnats, always buzzing in your ear. When you go to swat them they always seem to dodge that slap and come back for more.
These people bother, annoy and bug. For this week’s piece, I decided to do a countdown of my top three human gnats. Acknowledging relentless creatures that are always in the news, public eye, or pop culture.
No. 3 is a name you know well. Sarah Palin didn’t put off enough people during her 2008 vice-presidential bid and her 2009 resignation as governor of Alaska, so the soccer mom politician is back for more.
This time, posting her ravings and random thoughts on popular social networking Web site Facebook. In her first comments since her resignation, Palin decided to sing the same old song and dance the same old jig she’s used to; criticizing President Obama.
According to Palin, Obama’s new health plan is “downright evil.” Stating that “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care.” Wow, such fighting words.
Not only is this “death panel” a moot point because it is ridiculous, but Obama already addressed the controversy last month during a town hall meeting sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons, assuring the public that nobody is going to force anyone to make “end-of-life care” decisions based on a Washington law.
When is Palin going to realize that if she continues rubbing people the wrong way, and making uneducated comments, she is basically assuring that she will lose again. That is, if she ever runs for office in the future. Palin should stick to what she knows best — buying Fendi purses and shooting baby wolves.
No. 2 on the list was a close second and I think you’ll agree this woman has worn enough nerves thin. Surprisingly, on Aug. 19, Fox is set to air “Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage,” a two-hour special about Nadya Suleman’s emotional struggles, physical complications and financial burdens. I thought that this human Xerox machine had slipped back into obscurity but I was mistaken.
What can the public possibly not know about Suleman? Every one of her “struggles” was covered when she gave birth to her octuplets in January. In fact, I feel like I already know too much about this sideshow freak.
According to Mike Darnell, Fox programming president, “It’s emotional, it’s compelling, you’re watching her go from miracle birth woman to tabloid fodder.” Is he honestly referring to this woman having eight more children she can’t afford as miraculous?
According to Internet news Web site “The Live Feed,” Fox will reportedly set aside a six-figure sum for Suleman’s children, something that Darnell said Fox has “no legal obligation to do.” Have eight kids, and receive a cool six figures. Now that’s the true miracle.
Now we come to the top human gnat; the only person who is deserving of taking the No. 1 spot on this list. I had forgotten about this person until I was reminded recently of his existence while in Las Vegas. Before me, on a marquee adorned in flashing lights and fanfare, I learned that John Edward — psychic medium extraordinaire — is still among us.
Probably known for his television show “Crossing Over With John Edward,” one of the world’s foremost BS artists will bring his “talents” to Las Vegas for a series of shows later this year. Yippee.
Are there actually people alive who believe this man can talk to the dead? Edward has done the impossible with a flick of the wrist, a carefully worded speech and some charisma. He has convinced thousands of people — maybe millions — that he can communicate with the dead
Critics of Edward constantly assert that he performs “cold readings,” but is there really any point at all in debating the merits of a man who claims to do something impossible?
Edward is among the top bullshitters. He is truly deserving of the honor of receiving the top spot on my list. One can only hope that the next Las Vegas show Edward will be appearing in is a fight to the death with Miss Cleo. I would definitely pay to see that one.
Gerry Wachovsky is a graduate student and a columnist for the Summer Forty-Niner.