Matthew Shepard is a person I think about from time to time, perhaps more so lately. He was a political science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie and he had a loving family he was close to. He was also murdered in 1998 for being gay.
I grew up in a situation where I didn’t know the struggles of oppressed individuals. Not by choice, but for someone like me to learn these things, I had to be taught it or I had to see it.
The murder of Shepard showed me something new, and another ugly side of humanity, and it seared itself into my brain.
The horrors of hate rhetoric and homophobia.
I still remember where I was when I watched the news and learned about the murder.
I was 18 in 1998, and the news hit me like a ton of bricks. All Shepard ever was, and all he will ever be, was taken because of who he loved.
The murderers pretended to be gay to lure Shepard in to rob him, and when Shepard entered the vehicle with them, they attacked him after he placed his hand on one of their legs.
Shepard was found the next day, tied to a fence in the middle of a field, comatose after a night of beatings.
It was clear what had happened to him.
When the killers were arrested, they admitted what they had done to the police. They thought that a “gay panic” defense would justify their actions.
The story became national news and candlelight vigils sprang up all over the country. However, Shepard’s injuries were too severe. He died in the hospital a few days later.
As we approach the 25th anniversary of his death, it still crosses my mind from time to time, and I find myself wondering if the country is still homophobic, merely tolerant or equal; and whether or not I’m a good ally in it.
I used to think our country was headed in the right direction on LGBTQ+ issues. We saw new hate crime legislation get enacted, and more LGBTQ+ representation in media and people were getting to be who they are.
Most of the movement seemed to be going in a positive direction. We even witnessed gay marriage go before the Supreme Court, they affirmed it, and many in the country rejoiced.
Things seem to be different now, in 2023. We’re going in the opposite direction. Maybe it was the election of Donald Trump, or maybe it was something else, but the LGBTQ+ community is under attack again.
I don’t know if the hate for the LGBTQ+ community ever went away. I think it was just redirected for a while, but the rhetoric is loud again.
Journalists debate the existence of people in the transgender community as if they haven’t met them. Politicians talk about going after gay marriage as if they could control love. YouTubers make thinly veiled jokes about their god-destroying pride celebrations.
LGBTQ+ people are still being killed.
A terrible thing about rhetoric is that sometimes it works; and when it does, people’s place on the battlefield becomes clear.
On the one side, you have people who are just trying to live their lives. To be people who are authentic to themselves. The other side has people who cannot exist without trying to control, or erase, the first side.
So, what does one do? We live in a country of free speech, which means that we have to let other people talk.
It’s here that we can take the final lesson from the murder of Shepard.
Since his murder attracted national attention, it also attracted the Westboro Baptist Church. They came to spread their hate at Shepard’s funeral, and the criminal trials that followed.
One of Shepard’s friends took action for the murder trials.
When Westboro showed up, Shepard’s friends, including Romaine Patterson, donned white robes and large angel wings, surrounded the Westboro protesters and tried to drown them out.
Even though the people in the courtroom still heard the hate from Westboro protesters, the “guardian angels” mission was clear, to drown out hate.
I think that’s a big part of being an ally, listening to our LGBTQ+ peers and amplifying their stories to drown out the hate.
The rhetoric is getting louder.
It’s time to drown them out again. While having wings is helpful, all we really need is our voices.