One of the most difficult aspects of coming out for me was the environment I lived in. While my parents were accepting, growing up near North Hollywood and going to college in Glendale, displays of hatred against the LGBTQ+ community have increased in recent years.
I am proud to live as a transgender woman and a lesbian. But with the political climate in the United States and many states trying to pass anti-trans legislation, life can be stressful and tiring.
Transferring from Glendale College and coming to Long Beach State has been euphoric.
From the moment I was first contacted by the university, they were using my chosen name in emails. While this may seem like a small detail, other schools I applied to, such as California State University Northridge, reached out to me using exclusively my dead name. While I was already firmly set on attending CSULB, getting an acceptance letter from CSUN with a name I haven’t used in years definitely didn’t work in their favor.
For the few years that I have been out, being gendered correctly was not something that occurred consistently, as I repeatedly found myself having to correct people. It can be exhausting, but at CSULB, it’s been different.
I have not once had to use my dead name while attending CSULB. Every class, professor and student has not only been accepting, but accommodating. For the first time in my life, I don’t have to justify who I am, I can just be me. While I still feel passing glances of judgment, they are much fewer than those I received back home in Burbank.
Most of the students and faculty that I have encountered here have introduced themselves with their name and pronouns. With this being something that I have been doing for years, it makes me feel much less alienated to see others doing so as well. It is validating that people want to hear who I am instead of assuming how I identify.
Being able to be open and proud of who I truly am has been absolute bliss, and having the chance to be part of a community that accepts me for me has led to big improvements in my mental health. It feels really good to be able to meet other people who share similar experiences with being queer, especially because this was something I struggled to find in my hometown.
Fellow staff members on the Daily Forty-Niner and other members of Beach Media have embraced me with open arms. From the first day I met them all, I felt welcomed and at home.
Not having to hide who I am has also granted me new experiences. I can fully embrace myself, whether that be as a transgender person, a gay woman or sometimes both. Instead, I can live freely and explore the variety of new facets that are apart of my identity.
The process of legally changing one’s name in the state of California can be a long and stressful experience, both mentally and financially, but since attending CSULB, for the first time in my life, I can be openly me.