During a series with UC Davis over the weekend, Amanda Hansen led the 49er softball team out of the dugout for every half-inning warm-up and greeted every teammate who brought home a run. Her voice led every team cheer while Long Beach State swept the Aggies.
Despite the sweep, the 49ers still trail Hawaii in the Big West Conference standings, and their postseason chances look bleak. Hansen may be disappointed by this, but she still smiles proudly while looking ahead to the rest of her college career.
It’s been a long transition for Hansen since last year, when she served a nearly season-long suspension for ditching practices and, as she put it, giving up on her team.
“I got suspended a lot of times because of my attitude,” Hansen said. “Little things just trigger me, I guess.”
The trigger last year was a ground ball that had slipped between her legs in a game against Long Island University, just three weeks into the season. Ignoring her catcher’s pitch signals, Hansen proceeded to hit a batter, allow three hits and throw a wild pitch behind the final batter she faced. Her frustration derailed what would be her last start. A post-game blow-out with her coach would define her shortened season.
“The team didn’t like me very much last year,” Hansen said. “It was the worst thing in my life.”
Instead of using her suspensions as a lesson to help improve her behavior, Hansen said she reacted bitterly and chose to distance herself further from the situation.
But while her team surged late in the season toward its second consecutive Big West title without her, Hansen said she realized what her mistakes had cost her.
“Not playing at all last year just killed me,” Hansen said. “I never thought all the things I did last year were that bad, but they really were.”
This year, the sophomore pitcher is an important reason why the 49ers are still vying for a third straight conference title heading into the final weekend of the regular season.
Hansen holds a respectable 2.97 ERA and ranks in the top 10 of several Big West pitching categories, including opposing batting average and strikeouts. She had perhaps one of her strongest months ever as a softball player in April, pitching three shutouts over a four-game stretch.
Hansen said that while she feels like she has made a complete turnaround since last season, which ended with a 6.36 ERA and 0-4 record, she hasn’t yet reached her potential.
“I don’t have any more chances,” Hansen said, “and that’s really scary because I have two more years here, so I can’t do anything wrong. I can’t believe I put myself in that position.”
Close teammate and catcher Sarah Carrasco said the improvement she sees in Hansen this year is her willingness to calm her attitude, on and off the field.
“Last year she just was not as committed as she could have been,” Carrasco said. “This year she is trying to make changes all the time.”
After impressing head coach Kim Sowder with a solid fall season, Hansen said the next step she took toward redeeming Sowder’s trust was by taking responsibility for her mistakes and declaring her long-term commitment to the team.
Sowder said she thinks that the adjustment from high school to college was hard for Hansen, academically and athletically, but that she now expects her to continue to grow each season.
“She went through a lot last year,” Sowder said, “but she definitely has matured quite a bit. She certainly has gotten better, learned a lot, and she really worked as hard as anyone this past fall.”
Hansen reacts differently now. She said she can usually turn around a bad outing on days she’s able to constantly remind herself on the mound that her catcher and teammates believe she can do it.
“But then on the other side,” Hansen said, “sometimes I don’t feel enough support, so I don’t pitch as well, and I don’t want to keep trying as much.”
Ignoring occasional criticism by her teammates, Hansen wears a face guard mask every time she pitches. While she has never had a softball-related facial injury, the mask serves as her safeguard.
At 10 years old, Hansen was struck by a line drive to her chest. Since then, she said the mask has been as important as a uniform.
“My stepdad decided to get it for me, and I had to get used to it, and it was terrible,” Hansen said. “It took forever to get used to it. But I was one of the only girls with a mask, and I was really proud of it.”
Hansen has achieved so much success behind the mask that she sees no reason to do away with it. She pitched varsity all four years at Universal City High School in San Diego and earned a spot on an NCAA Division I team at LBSU.
Hansen said her teammates have told her she’s outgrown it now that she’s in college. However, she said the mask is something she will wear to every practice, scrimmage and game.
“I’m going to wear it until the day I die, until I’m done playing softball,” Hansen said. “I’m going to wear it, and I don’t care.”
Since she was eight years old, the one thing Hansen has put first is softball, up until she came close to walking away from it last year.
“I just love softball,” Hansen said. “I’ve just always loved it, and I want to play after college, and for as long as I can.”
Before her final two years at The Beach pass, Hansen said her ultimate goal is to become the one player that her teammates rely on. With her improvement this year, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched.
“I’m going to be that new person,” Hansen said. “I should be that new person right now.”